Long Overdue

        Cats were huddled against one another as harsh winds billowed through camp. The air was white with snow and all the formerly thickly leafed trees were now bare, reaching toward the sky like sickly claws. The snow banks were thick, filled with holes and paw prints where young Apprentices and even Warriors had been playing in them when the weather was better. Now, cats dreaded having to leave their dens and brace the snow. The prey pile had been heavily stocked up before the first winter storm, and had brought the clan this far into leaf-bare, but now it was running low and hunting was scarce.
         Ghoststar had been rather enjoying herself at first. Her pure white fur blended perfectly with the glistening scene and she had hunted a good amount of plump weasels and mice just before they went underground to wait out the season. Even she prayed for the frigid weather to lighten up now. Cats came to Scorchtooth constantly, complaining about a cough, stiff limbs, or frozen paws. The sarcastic old tom hadn't lost his swiftness of the tongue despite the dull scene, but it could be seen in his eyes he too was worried. He'd already been unable to save one life.
          Deep in the forest, his grave now covered in at least a tail length of snow, a newly appointed warrior had given his last breath only a few sunrises ago. His thick orange tabby fur had been groomed, the scent of green cough lifted from him, and he had been mourned for. Scorchtooth wasn't too worried any other cat would catch green cough. He figured it was the young tom's distinct flat face that had made him more susceptible to the sickness. Still, the death of Talonpaw gave him reason to keep his catmint carefully stocked at the back of his den and away from frost. The black tom had Silverpaw on over time looking for herbs close to camp, the young apprentice did her best.
           That wasn't the only loss the clan had experienced. Boulderclaw and Snowpaw had mysteriously vanished after the first few snows. Ghoststar had a search party sent out, but their tracks were already covered by the powdery flakes, and no bodies were found. The white she-cat wasn't surprised. She had heard them mumbling to each other often: this clan is weak, I'm starving and they feed the worthless elder and Queen first, its too cold here and we have to sleep on the edge of the dens. She summed it up to the others that they weren't fit for clan life and probably left by choice.
          Ghoststar was concerned she would have more cats abandon Twilightclan as the sweetness of green-leaf faded from their senses, and the hopes of it returning grew more and more dim. Her greatest suspicions were cast toward Silverpaw, Spade, Featherpaw, and Spottedpaw. The three apprentices for the reason that she knew they all had kitty-pet roots and was uncertain they would hold up in the new harsh environment. Spade for the reason that she was still unsure where his loyalties lied. Despite her worries, now other cats had left. And thankfully, no other cats seemed to be ill enough to join Starclan.
         Despite these losses, Twilightclan had gained two members. Shadowpelt and Whitewhisper had been lost in the storm and taken refuge in camp. A half moon later, they decided to become permanent clan cats.
         As the clan's spirit dwindled with the icy breeze, Ghoststar had decided something needed to be done to keep them united. She had made Featherpaw and Owlpaw both new warriors. Featherpaw was now Featherstorm and Owlpaw was now Owlflight. Snakefang had beamed proudly and cheered the loudest at the ceremony. Ghoststar was supremely proud of her Apprentice, Owlflight, as well. That had temporarily brought the clan to a pretense of happiness, but as the cold winds blew this soon faded.
          Ghoststar was in her den, her bushy tail tucked up over her nose as she tried to stay warm. All the patrols had attempted to go out, but the blizzard was too much now. They would have to wait until it quieted down. The white she-cat was surprised when Darkmoon stumbled into the den, almost unrecognizable with her black fur plastered with white snow. "What is it?" Ghoststar was on her paws, her ears pricking. She could tell something wasn't right.
          "Two strange cats are here. They say our clan is going to be slaughtered."




(So that was a lot. I had to sum up what had happened since I haven't been on in forever and I had to refresh somethings. So there you go. Now the plot is moving again and we can all role-play! Yay! You can have your cats do whatever (trying to hunt or patrol, sleeping in their dens, checking out the strange cats and whats going on, ect). Whatever you think will be most entertaining. 3,2,1 go!)

LIfe

     Hey, everyone (or like seven people.) This doesn't relate to Twilightclan or the roleplay in really any way, I just felt like talking. You know those days were you just feel like having closure with someone. Telling them your feelings even though its meaningless to them. Recently, I guess I've felt in a funk. I have no purpose. To do, really anything. I've always been an A student or at least A and B student (predominately A), but of late I have been slacking. I don't do my homework that often anymore and if I do its a half fast (sounds the same as what I wont say if you say it fast) job. I guess I pay attention in class, kind of. For the most part though, academics have taken a secondary position in my life.
      I have instead turned my attention to my social life. My personal interests. I've always been extremely introverted and shy, which made me pretty unpopular and just that weird girl that people didn't understand. Yet, this year, as a Junior, I wanted to change that. I've joined Drama and opened up more and I actually really enjoy it. I have lots of friends now, and I may not be the most popular person, but hey, I have all the people I need: good, down to earth people. I'm even in a relationship, which is totally new to me and I really like the guy. So in that aspect you could say life is good. But, then again I'm reminded of my previous academic determination, and realize I lack it.
      Now, don't get me wrong, I have A's and B's and only one C. But that's the lowest my grades have ever been, and they're dropping. Finals are coming up and I have no idea how I'm going to do because I've just been coasting through. A minimal amount of effort for a minimal, I guess "sufficient" amount of learning and grade level. And don't get me wrong, the people I hang out with are not slackers or bad people, so its not like I'm not doing my school work because of peer pressure. So, even though I think in one aspect of my life I've really grown and developed into a better person, why is it on the other spectrum I'm falling behind?
      I've spoken to other people in my class, 2015, and they all say the same thing.
      "I don't even care anymore."
      "I hardly ever do my homework."
       "I'm just so stressed and feel like, what's the point?"
       These are all good, hardworking students that I've known for years. It seems like an epidemic is spreading through my school: a lack of determination. Maybe a lack of purpose? Is it the age? When people reach that junior, senior kind of thing do they just begin to lose track of what to do or where to go? I can't figure it out. I for one though, feel pretty purposeless. I love life, of course. But academically and for my future, I don't know where to go. I've even been pushing off blogging, which used to be a major factor in my life. For a moment I know what I'm doing (the Air Force, Animation, Musical theater) and then the next day I'm a piping hot mess with no idea what to do with my life. I'm not a bad kid. I have a good family (well, besides the fact we hardly talk and are scattered too far to visit). So why do I suddenly feel like I have no direction?
       Everything has been done and seen. There's nothing new to explore, nothing new to create or capture. There's so many people on this earth: all of us need to find some purpose for our futures. That's a lot of competition if you think about it. So few jobs, new people born everyday. I'm afraid of the future, and I haven't been afraid of that in a long time. Yet, somehow, even with this loss of direction, I'm the happiest I've ever been. Because of the people I've met, and the people I plan to meet. Good, genuine people.
       I lost where I was going with this. And I have no idea what you all (I will not say y'all) are going to think. Or if you will respond at all. I just wanted to say, I guess, that growing up is hard. You realize you do have to think about life and where you want to go. What you want to be. Because I don't want to be just another joe on the street. I want to make a difference. I want to be someone. Life isn't measured by the breathes you take, but by the moments that take you're breath away. (Don't know where this quote comes from, but I'm using it.)
        See, just last weekend I went snowmobiling for the first time. I picked up on it relatively fast and didn't crash, but I found that I really liked going fast. The faster I went, the more I could feel. The more I could hear. The more I could see. I know how adrenaline works, but that's a moment I'm talking about with the breath taking thing. That's the most alive I've felt in awhile. I wasn't getting up, going to school, and going home to do more work. I was living. I was doing something different, on the edge. I'm not an adrenaline junky, though it must sound like it with that paragraph. I just want to feel my heart beat, because it reminds me I'm alive.



        So comment, vent, do whatever. I just needed to get this out and since you guys only know me as Primrose, I knew I wouldn't be judged personally. Thank you for your time =) I wont interrupt any more roleplaying. This isn't going to turn into a weird Dr. Phil or Dr. Oz blog, trust me.

Nine Lives, Use Them Wisely..

      Ghoststar wasn't seeing anything. The air was cool and cold, its chill beginning to sink through her fur. "Where are you?" She muttered, hoping starclan might here. They had spent enough time in Roseclan territory, the smell was making her fur bristle. What if they had gone on forbidden territory for nothing? Suddenly, there was motion that caught Ghoststar's attention. A dark red pelt was manifesting in the corner of her vision. The white she cat dared turn her head: her breath caught in her throat as a she-cat was right beside her, looking at her with faded green eyes. The moment was fast, for the figure turned and briskly headed farther into the woods, its image faltering slightly. "Scorchtooth!!" Ghoststar hissed as quietly as she could, but still loud enough to catch his attention. There was no time to wait for him, she dashed through the trees after the starlit cat.
        Scorchtooth flattened his ears, crouching slightly as her urgent mew caught in the air: the ever so silent air. Of course any cat would have heard that! The black tom looked over to her about to make a sarcastic retort, but the white she-cat's pelt was already flashing through the trees. Scorchtooth thought he saw something in front of her, but he couldn't make it out. With his heart skipping a beat, he dashed after her.
        Where is she leading me? Ghoststar wished she could get close enough to ask, but the Starclan entity kept a good distance between herself and it. The trees flashed by and the scent of Roseclan drifted in the crisp night air. The moon light, still slightly full, was the only reason Ghoststar was able to follow the figure as it glittered and flashed. She could hear Scorchtooth behind her and wondered briefly if he saw the cat too. The trees thinned and the slope increased. The white she-cat felt her heart stop when she lost sight of the cat over the hill. "No!" They weren't going to find where to meet starclan. Not if this cat wouldn't slow down!
         Scorchtooth had caught up to his leader, panting as his yellow eyes stared up the hill. "Quiet! Do you realize how deep we are in Roseclan territory??" He swung his head back to look through the trees. "Why don't you just call to their camp and say 'hey, come and rip our pelts off for trespassing'?" The black tom's pelt was lashing as they ran.
         Ghoststar had become oblivious to the fact of where they were. They reached the top of the hill and as the pale she-cat looked down it she was shocked of what she saw. A gleaming rock stood in a clearing at the base of the hill. The mysterious red cat was gone. The boulder was large and the only thing, beside a thin scattering of ferns, that was in the area. Ghoststar looked at Scorchtooth, her ears pricked.
          "We still don't know if Starclan will share in your dreams here."
          "They will." She replied, sure of it. The black tom scoffed as they headed down the hill. Ghoststar wasn't sure what to do. Scorchtooth instructed her quietly.
           "Just lay down next to the rock and touch your nose to it. If you dream of starclan, great. If not, this little escapade was a complete waste." Ghoststar wasn't encouraged by his tone. She hated feeling like a mouse-brained kit, which always seemed to be his goal. The white she-cat shot him a glare with her gray eyes and lied down. She gently touched her nose to the rock, bracing for cold, but was instead shocked by a warmth. It seemed to radiate from within the great stone and immediately soothed her to sleep.

           ***

           Starlight...grass...cats?  Ghoststar tried to identify the things around her as she woke. Was anything different? Was she dreaming? Scorchtooth was no where to be seen and the huge boulder that had been in front of her before was gone now. She was in an empty field with a heavy scent of cat around her. "Hello?" She called out with a tentativeness. As she spoke figures seemed to take shape around her out of thin air. She hadn't realized they had been standing there the whole time.

           "Greetings, Ghost." A cat stepped out of the group of patterned fur. It was the red cat she had seen all those times. It bothered her slightly they referred to her by her old name. Ghoststar wanted to point out that her name had changed, but suddenly she had lost her voice. "I am Foxstar, former leader of a clan that used to dwell here. Nightclan."

            Ghoststar looked around at the crowd. A clan had lived here before Roseclan? Before Twilightclan? She was amazed.

            "You want your nine lives. You want to be true leader of Twilightclan. We will grant you all that, but you must understand one thing: more lives is different than more power." Foxstar meowed this with an intense warning. Ghoststar gritted her teeth. The white she-cat couldn't understand why she would say that. "You can always put more stones into a lake, but that does not change how the lake holds water."

             Ghoststar was even more confused. Why did Starclan have to speak in such an inauspicious tone? She quickly forgot their words as Foxstar continued on.

             "With this life, I give you humility. Never overestimate yourself: remember all cats have the same ability and possibilities." The russet red she-cat leaned forward, causing Ghoststar to have an immediate instinct to pull away but her body seemed frozen in the cold, still air. As soon as their noses touched, Ghoststar was filled with a feeling of insignificance. The world suddenly seemed so big. There were huge, thick oaks that seemed to touch the sky. Mountains that rose up out of the land defiantly against all gravity. Animals that were huge and powerful even as cubs, pups, and calves. She closed her eyes tightly, wishing away the images. Foxstar stepped away, but the feeling lingered.

            Other cats stepped forward, some young, some battle scared. She received her eight other lives with similar over powering feelings.

             The life of courage: there was first an overwhelming fear, but then a burst of bravery that dwarfed the freight.

              The life of empathy: Ghoststar was in a glen full of tender, beautiful daisy's. She had to take great care to walk amongst them, not wanting to crush any.

             The life of pride: Ghoststar looked at Twilightclan and admired the group they had become. She would never doubt them.

             The life of unity: cats were being swept by a current and the only way to get out was to create a chain and cling to one another.

              The life of vitality: Ghoststar felt a surge of electric energy course through her. Her whole body twitched against the force holding her still.

              The life of wisdom: Ghoststar felt enlightened as she looked back at her life and understood things she hadn't before. She felt more ready for decisions to come.

              The life of patience: Ghoststar felt at peace with all the things around her.

              The life of ingenuity: the world all seemed more beautiful in itself. The colors, the sounds; she wouldn't look at any situation the same.

              By the end of all her lives, Ghoststar felt exhausted and yet invigorated. She could finally move and speak. "Thank you! Starclan..I'm so glad I get to be honored by you." She purred loudly the cats around her. They nodded simultaneously. Foxstar stepped back out forward.
              "With the power of Starclan you will be known as Ghoststar. Lead your clan to the best of your ability and up hold the warrior code." Ghoststar cocked her head at the last part.

              "Warrior code?"

               "Scorchtooth will teach you. We will send him a sign." Ghoststar didn't have a moment to inquire anything else. She was jolted awake suddenly with a feeling she was falling, and the scene faded. The white she-cat raised her head to see the glowing boulder and the quiet clearing.

               "Scorchtooth?" She called softly, wondering if he was still there.